If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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