I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
