so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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