bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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