I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
