Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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