if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you win again, gameday.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
pray to the hookup gods
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
