so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
