kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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