I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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