i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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