i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
