Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize