Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize