I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
