My sheets look like a crime scene.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Randomize
