Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
