He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
