I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
