OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
50% drunk capacity currently
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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