Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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