My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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