Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
