You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I licked your asshole in confidence.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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