What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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