Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize