So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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