He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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