I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
