what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
