I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
