i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
