im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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