His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She bit a glass in half.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
