Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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