What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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