His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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