I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
