HIV tests are more positive than that guy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we should paint friendship bongs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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