Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
True strength comes from lack of pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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