Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
