how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
