U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
