why didn't you poke me back
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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