Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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