yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize