those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
