What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
