We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize