i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just cut my nipple shaving
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
