Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
