I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
