so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
