there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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