just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
