i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
