can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
